DEMENTIA 

Enter their world 

Some years ago I was on an aeroplane heading for Australia.  We were flying through the night, the cabin was dark and most people were asleep.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a tiny elderly lady go towards one of the rear doors and try to open it.

Of course, she couldn’t actually open the door, so I wasn’t concerned about safety, but I was concerned about her.  So I gently walked up to her and asked what she was doing.  She said she was trying to get the cat in and put the milk bottles out.  I simply said I would do that, meanwhile let’s go and get a cup of tea.  Content, she came to the galley with me and all was well.

I had no idea if this lady had dementia, it could have been that we had climbed a little higher than the normal 35,000 feet, which would have meant that the air was a bit thin on oxygen levels, thus adding to her confusion.  And let’s face it, being on an aeroplane that long disorientates a lot of people.

The point is, when someone is confused or forgetful, it can be unkind and unnecessary to contradict or correct him or her.  It is far better to enter their world and go along with their story at that moment.  What is the point of hurting someone just because it doesn’t fit with our perception of reality?

Remember, no matter how bad someone’s dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease is, we are always capable of hurting their feelings and diminishing their self-esteem even more.  I understand that it’s very hard if you are looking after someone who is unwell, but if at all possible entering their world is far better for all concerned.