The Film: Inside Out

And Why It’s OK To Not Feel OK All The Time

Today the film Inside Out will be in our cinemas here in the UK.  An animated story of 5 emotions in the brain of a young teenager – Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Joy, all on a journey of conflict, challenges and success.

Why is this film important to me?  It’s completely in my area of expertise and I can’t wait to see how the makers of the film portray emotion. 

For years I have been talking about emotion and for years many have thought this is a pink fluffy topic that has no place in the real business world.  This is completely wrong.  Emotions influence all aspects of our behaviour most of the time, including business decisions, what we buy and why we are loyal to one brand and not another.

For me however, there is something equally, if not more important than this.

Watch out Care Homes and Retirement Villages

Generation Challenge is Here

A man in his later years wears a red school boy uniform with short trousers, ankle socks and cap. He is slightly hunched from years of playing a guitar. At close inspection his hands have tell-tale age spots and he constantly open and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. The thinning long black hair is caked to his skin with sweat making him look like Gollum in the good ol' days when he still lived in the Shire. 

Should he be apprehended for psychiatric assessment? 

Diaries Jammed Full Are Killing Us

Take a Deep Breath

A lady boarding the bus in front of you shows the bus driver a map and asks “Can you tell me if you are going to this place please?”

He thinks about it and kindly gives a full answer.

“OK, then can we have two tickets please?  Can I pay with a credit card?”

The driver says yes but the card doesn’t work.

“Sorry, let’s try this other one” as she fumbles in her purse.

This time it works.

“Can you tell us when to get off?”

“Sure” says the driver, smiling.

You are waiting behind these irritating people.  The bus is now late, which means you will miss the start of your meeting.

How do you feel?  Angry?  Agitated?  What if this happens on the next bus?  It’s enough to make you walk straight to a taxi rank, regardless of the additional expense.

Is Money Always a Motivator for Working?

It would appear not.

Recently I was speaking to a father who has a daughter with special needs.  She has a long list of both physical and mental challenges.

The father is a professional man who works in the City of London.  He is hard working and loyal to the firm.  He confided that he earns quite well but knows he could get better pay if he changed jobs.  This would be very handy as the costs of supporting his daughter are very high as she needs special equipment at home and in the car, special clothing and shoes, which she of course grows out of regularly and various support such as help in looking after her and extra activities to encourage development.  Holidays were not on the agenda.

My first reaction was to ask why he doesn’t move to a different firm who would pay him more? 

He looked at me with wide eyes and said that time off to be there for his daughter when needed was more important to him than money and his present firm understood this. 

What would you do?

Are You a Flamboyant Ticker or a Triumphant Crosser Outer?

Time Management At It’s Best, One List or Two?

Whether we like to admit it or not, when we have too much to do we are overwhelmed.  When we are overwhelmed we become inefficient, agitated, short tempered and quite frankly a pain to know.

Why?  Because it’s stressful.  When cortisol the stress hormone is over stimulated havoc breaks loose. 

The big three that cause a huge surge of cortisol are bereavement, divorce and moving house.  But believe it or not, this kind of stress is not the health risk we think, because no matter how bad we feel, we will recover on some level.

Equally, cortisol secretion in the short term is great because it keeps us alert, sharp and we can think on our feet.  If however, it goes on for too long that’s when things go badly wrong.  Typically this happens at work when tasks are not finished.  It’s the undone to-do list that eats away at us like a nasty little finger constantly prodding and poking robbing us of our sanity.

Is it Dangerous to Hero Worship?

Are you a hero?

Do you dream of being a hero?  Do you fancy the idea of saving someone one day?  Do you want people to say “wow there he/she goes, I wish I could be like him/her.”

It’s strange isn’t it, but we’re all capable of being a hero if the opportunity presented itself.  Imagine your child falling in a river, would you jump in to save them?  Most people would without thinking about it, it’s simply a reaction to wanting something more than anything else at that moment.

The traits we admire in heroes are often the traits we have in ourselves.  So if we are all capable of heroic acts, why do we put some people on a pedestal?  And why is this a bad idea?

The Suicide Card

The Ultimate Employee Threat

It was not exactly what I expected when I gave my first appraisal to a member of staff.  As a customer-facing receptionist she was turning business away with her utterly miserable facial expressions.  No matter what I did to cheer her up, she could never raise even a glimmer of a smile.  There was only one thing for it - we needed to have an official chat.

This was new to me, so I did my research on the best way to do this and asked her to come into my office.  With guidelines in hand I started the discussion.  I thought our conversation was going fairly well until like a bolt of lightening she said “I want to commit suicide.”  Horrified and in my naivety, I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong.  She continued with the ways in which she was considering ending her life. 

Age is no barrier to having fun

“We started the society because it’s hard for older ladies to meet new people.”

Whilst in a restaurant in London this week I saw a table of ladies swathed in purple clothes wearing red hats over beautiful white hair.  Some of the hats were functionally warm, others were various shapes of a trilby and one rather flamboyant lady wore a red flower and feather in her hair. 

They were giggling like schoolgirls and totally oblivious to people watching them.  They didn’t give two hoots; they were having fun.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I approached and asked who they were.

Consider carefully before you call yourself a carer

Or does it matter?

I have been talking to quite a few medical specialists lately and they all have one thing in common.  They feel genuinely sad that people call themselves carers before anything else.   They hear time and time again, “I’m a carer now you know” or “yes I’m a fulltime carer” or simply “I’m the carer.” 

If we are caring for someone, what’s wrong with being called the carer?  And why are the medics sad? 

People are not their illness

There is so much more

An older lady entered a new doctor's office.   Six months previously she had been diagnosed with a terminal illness.  She was efficient and organised with her ​​lists of medication, medical events during recent months and more ........  her CV.

She handed over the papers and the doctor looked shocked.  He glanced at the CV whilst putting it to one side saying "I will look at this later, let's talk about your medication". 

The Simplicity of Successful Business

Lessons from a 100 year old Paperboy

© cascadenews.co.uk

Mr Walter Sharp is a 100 year old paperboy.  His motto is “if you keep walking, you’ll keep living”.

Totally inspirational, but I began to think of other reasons why he is a surprisingly alert centenarian and what this means to the newsagent and newspaper who employ him.

Is Stand Up Sexist?

What compels us to want to make people laugh?

It’s one thing saying something funny in the moment, but to deliberately write, rehearse and deliver material with the sole intention of making everyone listening roll in the aisles laughing conjures up a sticky web of fear and insecurities.  At best, failure means stony silence, at worst … no it doesn’t bear thinking about. So who are the most likely people to succeed at standup?

These are some of the questions I asked myself when I took a major leap of faith and volunteered to do a 5 minute stand up routine in front of an audience of professional speakers.

The comedic line up consists of 21 people, 15 men and 6 women.  Now there’s a clue.  Is it gender specific?  We don’t have to think very hard to note that stand up comedy is male dominated.  So why?

Can We Ever Sing From The Same Song Sheet?

Communication Can Be Tough

Recently I sat in a meeting with 6 other people.  We were all adults of slightly different ages, both genders were represented and English was our first language.

Everyone had their say whilst all others listened.   Sometimes it got a little heated, but in a healthy, clear the air sort of way.  The chair of the meeting summarised each point and clarified understanding.   We all left the meeting with transparent objectives, a few relevant tasks to complete and a feeling of satisfaction that it went so well.

A week later the chair spoke to one of the attendees on the phone.  The call was interspersed with “you said blah”, “no I didn’t I said blah blah”, “no way, we all sat there and heard you say it”.  The conversation abruptly ended and more phone calls followed with the other members who all claimed to have heard something different again.  Objectives and tasks were abandoned and everyone was left in limbo.

How could this happen?

Angry Customers Poison Teams

If you let them!

Have you ever had a customer who clicked their fingers every time they wanted something and when you offered help, no matter how hard you tried they were never satisfied and even rude?

I remember a man just like this when I was in a customer-facing job working as part of a team.   This guy was so unkind that one of our team members even broke down in tears.  Our boss became more agitated and started to pick on each one of us out of frustration and temper. 

What do you think happened next?

Two things.

Why aren't businesses more fun?

Or why humour can drive profits

So there I was checking the catering before the passengers came on board, when I heard shouting and a few choice words from the first class cabin.

I ran to the front to find the Captain covered in tea, looking ghostly white with just the noise of the empty cup rattling in the saucer.  As I turned to look where his eyes were staring I could see our Purser curled up in the hat rack looking rather pleased with himself.

Marching Orders

Redundancy and Perspective

Whilst running a seminar a few days ago a worried looking woman came up to me in the break and told me about her husband John.

John went into work a few weeks ago as usual.  He sat at his desk and logged on to find an email from his boss who wanted to see him at 10.00 that morning.  John grabbed a coffee at 09.50 and went into his boss’s office at 10.00.  By 10.20 security escorted him back to his desk.  He put his personal belongings in a box, handed over his office keys and ID to the security chap who was standing vigilant and found himself out on the pavement by 10.35.

"You're rubbish at that." "Yeh, but it's not my fault."

Accountability at Work

The other day I was visiting a client’s office and sat in a waiting area near the kitchen.  As I waited I could hear people talking and one conversation went something like this:

“There’s no point him having a go at me, it wasn’t my fault we missed a deadline.”

“I know, he had a go at me too.  I didn’t know there was a problem with the client, it’s not my job to know everything.”

“Exactly, I’ve a good mind to speak to his boss, but he won’t do anything anyway.”

Both these people spent their break pointing the finger and blaming others.  Do you hear this in your office?

DEMENTIA 

Enter their world 

Some years ago I was on an aeroplane heading for Australia.  We were flying through the night, the cabin was dark and most people were asleep.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a tiny elderly lady go towards one of the rear doors and try to open it.

THIS 90 YEAR OLD LOLLIPOP LADY ROCKS!

75yr old pledges to work for 15 years and she does! 

Our oldest lollipop lady retires at 90 years of age.  Beryl took the job on at the age of 75 and pledged to keep going for 15 years, which she did come rain or shine.  When journalists asked her what she plans to do now, she said she wanted to concentrate on the Women’s Institute and work in the local charity shop.

Beryl is an incredible lady, but I think I may be the only person who witnessed something Beryl did that totally blew me away.

As like many other drivers in the area, we all used to stop dutifully and wait as Beryl helped school children cross the road.  No one ever became irritated, we just sat there smiling and waving as we drove off. 

One particular morning I drove up to Beryl’s zebra crossing as she was just finishing her shift, it was quiet, the school traffic had dispersed.  She began to walk up the hill to go home when a child caught her eye. 

GRANNY LEAVE

Could ‘Granny Leave’ Feed Discrimination?

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, has recognised the plight of working women over the age of 50 years who are looking after elderly parents.  This is admirable and not a moment too soon.  The job of looking after children and elderly parents invariably falls on the shoulders of women, even in today’s enlightened society.  This is a tough call and many women are at the end of their tether trying to juggle family responsibilities and work.

One proposal suggested is Granny Leave, whereby women in particular can take up to 6 months off work to look after an elderly parent and have the statutory right to return to work after that period.

Great idea, but can employers afford such a luxury?  It is hard enough for them to finance maternity and in some cases paternity leave. 

Could this not feed age and gender discrimination?